The Flaw in Timbira

PREVIOUSLY ON

Coach is shown to have an ego problem, Brendan starts a friendship with Taj on Exile "Island" (It's not an Island) and Candace is voted out because Coach said so.

Hey guys welcome back to Heather re-watches stuff.  Sorry this was delayed, but it's up now.  Sorry :)

So, we get back into the minds of the Timbira Tribe.  Erinn finds out she's up the river without a paddle,  so she explains that she was never aligned with Candace.  Sierra of all people starts trashing her.  Coach also weighs in that Erinn's days are numbers, and that he would have never wanted to be in an alliance with her.  THIS IS IMPORTANT btw.

So in the morning we are treated with a scene of Jerry coughing.  Basically, this next part is divided into three parts.  Jerry is sick, Erinn is screwed, and the beans are fricking disgusting.

Erinn is also confident that she could out preform a model and a tiny old woman in challenges.  This will be fun.

Now, back to Jalapao!  They start to figure out on how to use a net.  Stephen is wondering if that really is a throw net because it's too big for one person.  It's pretty simple really, if you know how to use a net, you'll get yourself a fishy soon enough!  However, they get enough minnows to try and catch some bigger fishies!  And soon enough, they have more fishies than they could dream of.  In fact, while gazing upon his fishy, Social Mastermind Joe announces that Jalapao will be a force to be reckoned with at the challenges! 

Speaking of- It's time for a #REWARDCHALLENGE :D

Today is the customary blindfold/caller challenge- which gave us gems like Big Tom getting rammed it the face with a block, Danni getting hid in the head by a pole because of Judd, Scout leading Eliza into a puzzle piece, and Michelle almost killing herself by falling off of a ten foot platform.  Can't go wrong with this challenge.

So are callers for the day are...

SOCIAL MASTERMIND JOE FOR JALAPAO!

and...

DEBBIE WHO JEFF CALLS DEBORAH FOR TIMBIRA!

As far as blindfolded races go, this one was kind of a tame-ish one.  Although it funny moments include...

Jerry and Brendan failing at locating a bucket

Tyson running into Sydney and is about the most contact he gets with a woman anywhere near his age

Social Mastermind Joe making JT and Spencer slam into each other.

And JT mistaking the word "Bucket" with "face"

Well, anyways Jalapao wins and Coach is pissed off that they miss out on blankets.

So, Brendan gets picked to go to Exile Strip of land and takes Taj with him.  Jeff asks Spencer if this is worrying   Spencer is reviled to not care.

So, back on Timbira, Coach is pissed about losing.  He then tells people to not go off in groups to blame each other, because it's the last thing that they need to do.  He then goes off with Tyson and complains about Sierra's yelling during the challenge.  Coach is such an odd person.  He then calls Tyson his assistant Coach. Love it.

Social Mastermind Joe take a moment into poking fun at Timbira, saying that Moral problems will soon affect that tribe.  Oh, this will be fun.

So at Exile, we form the greatest idea for an alliance ever.  The Exile Alliance.  Taj plans to get Stephen in the fun, while Brendan would get Sierra, and then they shall take over the game!

Okay, back at Jalapao, They are glad that it rained, because they knew that Timbira would get wet.  Also, are we 100% sure that Spencer is gay?  He looks like he is getting in with the Ladies of Jalapao.

Spencer X Sandy :3

Also we get this gem from Sandy. Such an amazing character.

Strung out old lady love.

To the Immunity challenge- it's the stack blocks challenge that caused James to yell at Stephenie in Heroes Vs Villains!  Yay!

Also- Jeff still calling Debbie "Deborah" is funny.  I know that it's her real name, but everything else including the intro calls her "Debbie".

Anyways, Jerry also gets smacked with a block.  Timbira gets there blocks first because Stephen and Sydney suck at rolling blocks.  Erinn leads Timbira into building that staircase!  Too bad Brendan slows everyone down by arguing with her.  Thus Jalapao wins Immunity! 

Jerry also gives up because of his illness. :(

So yeah.  He's done.

Erinn figures this out and gives this face-

Coach get pissed and gives this face-

He also can't exist around Erinn, because he's so true and stuff and she smiles evilly.  Wow.
Sierra is still going to vote out Jerry because she isn't stupid.

Brendan finds the idol in the totem thing.  It's kind of a cool spot to hide it. IMO.  Not in a tree or buried.   

Tyson wants to blindside Erinn because it would be funny to see her cry.  Oh, this is fun.

So- To Tribe Council

Jeff calls out Timbira for not listing to Erinn.  Jerry things that Brendan should be the leader, but Coach should be the leader because he led everyone just using his eyes.

I think everyone had this reaction to his BS-

Erinn calls out Coach on his BS, saying that Brendan would be the better leader.  Coach claims it to be a personality clash.  This starts one of my favorite Feuds of all time, my 8th favorite in fact.  Erinn wasn't even aware of this clash. 

Jeff calls out Coach on his Ego.  What a fun tribal council. 

Okay so the votes are in...

Jerry is gone. :( 

Let's relive the best moment Jerry gave us...

Next time on Survivor

Tyson is crazy- Sydney is cute- and Taj is awesome.

Thank you for reading!

~Heather~

All about Coach's Ego

PREVIOUSLY ON...

Sandy doesn't go home! Some annoying bartender does instead.  Oh, and Sierra was sick.  Awesome.

So, welcome back to episode two of Survivor: Tocantins. We start off with Sandy being all happy because Carolina messed up.  Yay!  Until Spencer says in a confessional that Sandy's going home next.  Boo...

The next morning, Social Mastermind Joe is hungry.  So he goes with a few others to go eat termites.

R.I.P Termite mound :(

They find this awesome looking grub thing at the bottom once Social Mastermind Joe was done tearing up the mound. 

SIGN ME UP! lol  Stephen tried to eat it and made this face-

This is my new favorite picture by the way.  I love it.  Sydney didn't want to eat it after she saw his face.  She did say that she'd eat grubs and stuff in a challenge.  Too bad there was none.

Okay, TO TIMBIRA!  Sierra wants to find the idol.  She tells Brendan that she needs his help because he didn't write her name down, but Erinn's shirt color and description down.  They find it faster than Sandy AND they knew what a pace was.  But Mama Debbie was worried about them so she went to make sure something didn't get them.

BUSTED!  Luckily Sierra just threw out that they are building a kickass fire pit.  Fun loving Debbie bought it.  I love Debbie, what an underrated star of Tocantins.

So Back at Jalapao, Taj tells everyone she's married to a football player.  Spencer, Joe, and JT can't believe.  Stephen had this look on his face.

He doesn't know who Eddie is.  Surprise.  

At Timbira Candace and Coach fight about food.  Candace says that ego will be the reason he lost South Pacific Death of him.  They resolve their issues for now...

Next we have a combined Reward/Immunity challenge.  It's one of my favorites ever.  It's basket ball, but without dribbling, you can run with the ball, and you can beat the living tar out of anyone.  No surprise that Timbira sits out 80 lb Debbie.

You know what's sad?  I think I'm either the same height or Less than Debbie.  I went by Heather Short for a reason.  

So, we get people beating the tar out of each other, but let's stop and ponder why the Idol looks so creepy.

WHY DO WE NEED A CLOSE UP EDITORS?!  Yeah, this was the real reason Tocantins isn't my second favorite season anymore.  I mean, it looks really weird.  So the first two rounds, Timbira is in the lead.  My favorite moment had to be Mama K and Erinn moments.

Right away, Sandy  pretty much just went after her.  Fuck the ball.

#SurvivorMoments  In the end, it didn't matter because Timbira scored anyways.

The next round Taj and Erinn drown Sierra.

*blub* 

Erinn's trying to help!  But Jalapao score the next two and tie it up.  Challenge Beast Coach is shown to be pretty pathetic in this challenge here.  JT spent about five minutes scoring with his lame ass in the challenge.

Fail.

So the last round, and nerdy, New York Jew scores the winning point for the Jalapeno tribe!

No love for Sandy. :(  They get immunity and fishing gear.  Oh, and to send Brendan to die in exile.  Bye :D

... Just kidding, the twist of the season is to pick another person to go with him.  He chooses Taj.  Bye :)  The two decided to share the clue.  It takes Brendan an unhealthy amount of time to figure out what "Tribal Homelands" were.

Jalapao enjoys their fishing gear.  Stephen isn't very good with the spear, but this was important bonding man date time with JT.  Isn't that cool. :)

Back at Timbira they are licking their wounds from Jalapao.  Erinn was shocked at that Little Old Lady, while Sierra said she almost drowned.  Candace agrees but she knew that Coach has useless.  Her calling Coach a "Church lady" was gold for instance.  

Typical Church lady.  Coach doesn't like that Candace was plotting against him, because sweet little Debbie told on her.  How dare she...

Brendan gets back on day six.  He lies about Taj getting the clue.  What a player.

So, Coach has to insure Sierra that she isn't going home the only way he could.  

Meanwhile Erinn and Candace plot against Coach, then they decided to go after Sierra instead.  Awesome.  Except that Erinn never really like Candace because she was a horrible person.  What a star.  

So, we go to Tribal Council.  This is the famous Erinn/Debbie fight about trust.  TAKE NOTE THIS WILL APPEAR LATER!

Also- we have another Sierra was sick line.  Why was she that popular again? I mean I loved her my first watch but every time I see her in these beginning episodes she looked like a sad puppy dog Brian shot.  Kind of lame.

Oh, and today's vote of the day goes to JERRY for his wonderful spelling of the word Candace.

CANDANCE!

Although everyone except for Erinn and Coach messes it up.  All of the Candice votes were obviously hints that Candice Woodcock-Cody would return as a SUPERSTAR in Heroes Vs Villains. <3

Anyways, the poison apple left the game.  Bye!

Next time- BLIND CALLER CHALLENGE!  And Taj is plotting a scheme that could change the game.
THIS SUNDAY!

Thanks for your time!  I have a thread on Sucks now!  Comment or E-mail me for feedback!

Love you guys! *evil Erinn grin here*
~Heather~

The Adventures of the Strung-out Old Lady

I said I was going to- Here is my Survivor:Tocantins rewatch notes.  Beware- May contain snark and insults to America's sweetheart, Coach.

So- we started off with Jeff's usual long comments about how amazing Brazil is, and that they are in the most desolate part of Brazil ever.  Tocantins.  Oh, and everyone's on a truck and making confessionals about them.  Erinn says Tyson is a great guy to be around, Tyson thinks that Erinn's "The bitch".  Although my personal favorite is when Stephen calls Sandy the "Strung out old lady".  

Not Strung out at all

Sandy then calls Stephen a geek and says that she probably can led him around.

Sierra doesn't trash anyone, she goes on about the fact that she's been sick.  Coach says that he has the unfortunate feeling that she will crumble.  How boring.

The Truck stops in the middle of nowhere to drop everyone off, but then Jeff tells them to grab as much stuff as they can.  Jalapao mishears this and just grabs all of the watermelons and even tries to go for the sticks tied to the sides of the truck.  While they are doing that, Timbira grabs everything else.

Timbira gets most of the things because Coach led them with his eyes tribe unity.  Spencer say that the rest of them will live off of watermelons.  Jeff then tells them that they have a four hour trek to camp.  While Jeff drones on about how hot and hard it will be, every Guatemala contestant is thinking "easy".  He then throw the map and compasses to Sydney and Erinn and almost kills Erinn.

Good one Probst.

Oh, and he also says that someone isn't going to make the journey with them so hears some paper write down who needs to GTFO.

Fun fact- this is the first written vote of the season-

I loved how Jeff asked him who was that and Joe said,"Grammy is the older lady".  Clearing things up like a boss there.  So, after a couple of votes we have our winner!

Okay, so Sandy's pissed.  Let's see which Timbira member is going to get pissed!  Isn't this awesome!  

Check that out!  Coach knows what a zebra is.  Isn't that cool.  So Sierra see this and is a sad panda, err, zebra.  She says that she's sick.  However, that doesn't change a thing so the big winner of Timbria is...

Sierra says that she's sick again. Three times so far, someone do a drinking game.  Wait, they don't leave the game, they get a fricking helicopter ride.  The rest has to do the hike.  Kthxbye.

Stephen is already playing the game by stripping.

New York's pride and joy.  JT also has to help out Joe in reading a compass.  

I cannot believe that these people don't train to read a map and compass!  I taught myself how to do one before I get on Survivor! (/Eliza)
Stephen is also worried about bonding with JT, as the New York nerdy Jew would have problems bonding with the good old southern boy. (His words, not mine)
While Stephen builds up his fanbase, we cut to Timbira and we are shocked that Erinn hasn't been camping since the sixth grade.  Debbie also almost kills Erinn by suddenly dropping her end of the flag.  They rest up for a bit and Coach tried to lead and then tries to make a pact with Brendan because he is a strong male.  So in other words Coach is playing exactly like Probst would.

Back at the helicopter, Sandy gets dropped off first, and we get an emotional scene ending with her declaring that she will bleed Jalapeno red.  She then tries to find the Hidden Immunity Idol.

Sierra decides to be useful and build the shelter.  After we have the "I'm sick" proclamation number four that is.

Jalapao gets to their camp before sundown.  Sandy then hids her clue in the only place she knows no one will look.

Then she asks us if they look even.
Carolina whines that Sandy didn't start on the shelter.  Then everyone shares a watermelon and wonders how to say their tribe name.

Meanwhile at Timbira, Coach's amazing leadership skills got them to their camp a few hours after sundown.  He then says that despite Sierra's awesomeness at already building an eight person shelter she has to go.  Thanks Coach.

The next day, Jalapao is already putting together a cute little shelter.  Carolina is being annoying though because she wants to build some other things.  Oh, and Sandy slips off to find the idol again.  People, if they didn't have the HII we wouldn't get gems like the fact that Sandy doesn't know what a pace is.  Please cut some loses.

At Timbira, they already drank their water. :( So Sierra, Debbie, and Tyson decides to go get more! :D

Tyson strips because he's not a typical Mormon.

What an All-Star.
So, now we get the #ImmunityChallenge.  Meanwhile Eliza complains about how she misses the days when they have a Reward Challenge despite it being the first challenge.
During his expatiation- the editors decides to highlight the puzzle planks, just in case we forgot what they looked like.

Thanks!  I didn't know about that!

Also- the idol looks pretty pathetic if you ask me.

The challenge starts and right away Carolina is proving to be a challenge beast!

During the puzzle, Sierra tries her hardest to distract the other team, forgetting that the puzzle workers are Taj and Sandy.

Sierra has to have seen Survivor before!  She's taking lessons from Amanda after all.

Jalapao get to the maze part first where Spencer and Sydney work together in the best way ever.

Timbira catches up, were Erinn and Brendan prove to be the shining stars of teamwork.

And Timbira wins the challenge! Coach praises Brendan in the most non-homosexual way ever.  While Tyson hugs The Bitch.

Timbira is such a weird tribe.

Meanwhile Jalapao is getting so annoyed at Carolina, that the best Hero of all time says this-

I love that they used subtitles.  Also Joe proves to be a social master by messing up Carolina's name every time he says it.

To Tribal council!  Highlights include Jeff asking Sandy if she was crazy.  Wonder why he asked?

Now to the votes Sandy votes for Carolina in one of my favorite full circle votes of all time.

When Jeff reads off the votes, Carolina looks on smugly.

However, when the next few turn up Carolina, or some butchering of the name Carolina we get these reactions-

The best vote of the night goes to social mastermind Joe, with this awesome vote.

According to Stephen, he asked Carolina how to spell her name, and then he still screws it up!  Winning.

So, that's a 7-1 blindside towards the generic bartender and token minority.

Next time on Survivor!  People get beat up in a water challenge!  Join me next time to review episode two of the Tocantins!

~Heather~