Miss Short's Far Out Post

I told you guys I shall do stuff like this.  For those following my Tweets, I tweet stuff like this from time to time.  Today I shall give you guys some far out facts that are too long and with longer commentary from me.


85% of consumers waiting for customer support on the phone have yelled and sworn.
( About 60% of them are members of my family) 


You can mail a coconut with only a stamp and an address.
(I know this, I sent one to Hawaii) 


It's estimated that at any given time 7% of the worlds population is drunk.
(Including me mother)


Almost 10,000 birds a year die from smashing into windows.
(They were drunk as well)


The most yokes found in a single chicken egg was 9.
(Laid by mutant chickens)


The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000
(Half of them are throwing up, and 35% are drunk)


Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
(No comment, Donkey riding thinning out as a hobby)


Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
(Yes, readers, dust came from YOU!!)


A pregnant goldfish is called a twit. 
(The goldfish that go her pregnant is called Git)


The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb. 
(That is why Males with bigger thumbs are always single)


Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning
(Cocaine beats both)


Gorillas are unable to swim.
(Cause they have no floaties)


Turkish baths were invented by the Romans.
(Rome stole the original plan so it all balances out.)


In England middle names were once illegal.
(Middle names are for show though)


If you have blue eyes they will become paler as you get older.
(My blue eyes are now greenish-blue, when I grow older I turn into my Irish side)


Less than half of the London Underground is actually underground.
(Hehe, this made me smile)


If you heat a grape in a microwave oven the grape will explode.
(Now all those reading shall go and do it... Now)


Lightning strikes men about seven times more often than it does women.
(Glad I'm a female)


The blood of octopus is blue.
(My blood is purple by the way)


When Coca-Cola began to be sold in China, they used characters that would sound like "Coca-Cola" when spoken. Unfortunately, what they turned out to mean was "Bite the wax tadpole". It did not sell well.
(That is way I prefer Pepsi)


In Kentucky, it's illegal to carry an icecream cone in your back pocket
(I Own money to that state because of that)


The Danish word for condom is 'svangerskabsforebyggendemiddel' 
(If I ever get a chance to talk to Sandi Toksvig that is the first question I will ask her)


A dork is a whale's penis
(I wonder if it uses a svangerskabsforebyggendemiddel?)


The five most stolen items in a drugstore are batteries, cosmetics, film, sunglasses, and, get this, Preparation H
(When you have an itch...)


Allodoxaphobia is the fear of opinions 
(My mother has that fear)


A group of owls is called a parliament.
(Compared to a group of Baboons, congress.  Another reason I want to go to England)


Under the law of Mississippi, theres no such thing as a female Peeping Tom.
(Would this fall under Transsexuals?)


Wetaskiwin, Alberta from 1917: "It's against the law to tie a male horse next to a female horse on Main Street."
(Wonder Why they had to make that law... Never mind I don't want to know)


In Oklahoma City
One may not tip over a casket at a funeral.
(Yep, okay in Tulsa, a No-no in OKC)


No one may walk backwards downtown while eating a hamburger In OKC

(Reason I do not live in OKC, my talent is outlawed)

Well, that is all! Heather Short Signing off!